Attitudes Life Coaching

Competence Yesterday I spoke about how to learn what chores are appropriate for your child. Each and every child is different and you must work with them until they become proficient. Today I would like to discuss how to implement chores as part of a child’s routine. Once you know your child is safe performing a particular task on their own, you can now decide if this is something that you would like them to do on a regular basis or if it is something that you want them to d...Continue reading

Never Say No Good Afternoon! Today I would like to cover how you can learn what age appropriate chores will work for your child. This will be a useful guideline for children of all ages, even if you have children as young as three or four. When I was a young mother of two, ages three and eighteen months, I was working two jobs and managing a household. The guilt I felt from not being able to spend quality time with my children made me feel like a horrible mother. Fortunately... I was young (25) and naive. I found a creative way to overcome it. I learned to never say no when a child asks Can I help? My son was three years old when he asked if he could help me do the laundry. I was about to say no because he was so small, then a thought struck me. Our washer and dryer were in two different rooms so I was able to let him help and make it fun. I would put the laundry in the basket and let him push the basket to the washer. Once it was there, I would let him toss all the dirty cloths into the washer. When the wash was done I would put the wet clothes in the basket and let him push it to the dryer and have him put the wet clothes in to dryer then have him take them out when it was done. I was always with him but he felt helpful, and he was. My hands were free to do something else or tend to my eighteen month old. When I realized how being helpful made my son feel I began incorporating more chores as our days together went on. I would ask him to help me set the table, wipe up spills, pick up his toys and make the beds. At the age of four he came up with a genius idea of his own. During nice weather I would hang the cloths on the line out back. The cloths line was about 400 yards from our backdoor and he watched how hard it was to carry a full load of wet laundry that long distance. One day as I was about to bring the laundry out back he asked me if I would let him take his Power Wheels Jeep out of the shed. Previously he had rigged up a small wagon to the back of it with some twine he had found. He pulled the jeep up to the back door and told me to put my laundry basket into the wagon and he would ride it out to the line for me. His idea and ingenuity was truly helpful and gave him such a sense of accomplishment that he was beaming. He was so proud of himself, and rightfully so! The first step in having your children do chores is allowing them to help and spend the time teaching them. The younger the better. Yes, it will take you more time to complete something, but it will be true quality time and you will be teaching valuable life lessons. If you have any questions or topics you would like me to cover, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to answer them. Also, I am offering my services free of charge while we are dealing with this Covid-19 outbreak. If you need me, I am here. Also, please consider sharing this. You may not need the help, but you never know who may. Stay positive. Together, we’ve got this.

Yesterday I spoke about developing a routine. Routine is important because it sets you and your family up for success. It also helps you have a sense of control at a time when you feel like you may have none at all. If you are feeling afraid during these uncertain times I can guarantee that your children feel the same way. In some ways they may be even more afraid than you are. They can sense your fear, they have been ripped from a routine that they knew all too well and this... brings with it fear. When you add in a pandemic, you add in an unknown fear that children do not understand and they most certainly are not be able to express it. The most basic of emotions is a need to feel needed and important. They need to feel like they matter and that they make a difference. In order to feel this way they need to be able to do something tangible that can be quantified. By this I mean that they need to feel they contribute something they think will have a viable impact on the world around them. One way to accomplish this is to give your children a sense of responsibility by assigning them chores. Many times when I speak with clients I hear one of two things. They will either say let kids, be kids or I don’t have the time to teach them how to do it. I will just do it myself. To the first point I say, you are not raising children, you are raising adults. To the latter, make the time! It is your responsibility as a parent to raise children who will grow into responsible adults. Chores are a powerful vehicle that will lead to this end. They also create an opportunity to spend real quality time with your children. With it comes the added bonus of giving them both a sense of purpose and responsibility as well as letting them know that they are able to contribute to the family’s success. It also instills in them the vital life skills that will serve them well for the rest of their lives. Tomorrow I will cover how to know what age appropriate chores are appropriate for your child. If you have any questions or topics you would like me to cover, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to answer them. Also, I am offering my services free of charge while we are dealing with this Covid-19 outbreak. If you need me I am here. Also, please consider sharing this You may not need the help, but you never know who may. Stay positive. Together, we’ve got this.

Good Morning! In an effort to help families navigate these uncertain times I would like to offer some suggestions that will help you manage dealing with having people home and around you 24/7. This can be a challenge in the best of times let alone in the face of a pandemic and economic hardship . I would first like to address parents with children. Not only are you having to handle your parenting roles, you have now been thrust into the role of teacher, a job that you most... likely have not been trained for, except for playing school as a kid. While education is important, the mental health and overall well-being of the family is MOST important. If you cannot maintain an environment, where for the most part, everyone feels safe, loved and important, no matter what you do to try to educate a child, your efforts will be futile. My first suggestion in order to help you create some stability and peace of mind is to develop a daily routine. Something that would resemble what you and your family would be doing during a typical work week. I want to specify resemble! Consider developing a typical day. Write down a schedule that you can use as a guide line. Set up bedtimes, study times, lunch, exercise and recreation. Have a wake up time and create morning and evening rituals. Make sure you put yourself on the schedule. You have to make time for yourself and put yourself FIRST! If you do not make sure that your mind and body are in a good place, you will not be around to be able to care for your family! It’s like being on an airplane when the oxygen masks drop. If you don’t put yours on first, you won’t be around to help your child get theirs on. I will be giving more tips on what to include and how to include them as we proceed forward. If you have any questions or topics you would like me to cover, please get in touch with me! I would be happy to answer them. Also, I am offering my services free of charge while we are dealing with this Covid-19 outbreak. If you need me I am here. Also, please consider sharing this! You may not need the help, but you never know who may. Stay positive! Together, we’ve got this!

Good Morning! The Governor of NY has requested that mental health professionals donate their time. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I am a certified life coach. I have expertise in the area of relationship management focusing on families. If you are struggling with how to cope, please message me. I am offering free services for as long as we are dealing with the situation of Social Distancing. Additionally, if you have a question that you think I can answer, please ask! If I don't have the answer, I will find it for you. You can reach me via comment, Facebook messenger, or email.