Dr. Jodi Tafarella-Kunz

When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These kids have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organizations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous ef...forts, results are often a fraction of their peers and social acceptance can be fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety, and assignments a battle ground at home. It is exhausting for parent and child alike. This is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness. For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not recognize their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Recognize that the "playing field" is not always a level surface. Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! If you choose, please copy and paste this in honor of all children who are deemed "different". Our world would be far less beautiful without them.

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job. At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living ...in a trailer. At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school. At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare. At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker. At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46. Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52. Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57. Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76. Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78. Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. Never tell yourself you missed your chance. Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough. You can do it. Whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.

I will not let other people’s bitterness get in the way of my family’s happiness. My glass remains half full

#41 Happiness and perception Happiness is a perception. We perceive we are happy-therefore we are happy. We become unhappy when we perceive that something is missing, when we want or long for something, when we perceive we have been wronged. When we achieve a goal or obtain a desired object - we are happy - at least for a little while, until we perceive something is missing. We then want or long for something else. The cycle continues over and over- happiness continues ...to elude us. In order to be happy: 1. Focus on what you already have - enjoy it, be present with it, set you intentions on enjoying it. Looking at what you don’t have triggers stress and unhappiness changes our perception to loss and frustration. 2. Focus on your gifts and your strengths. This is a form of gratitude. Focusing on your shortcomings only trains your brain to think negatively about yourself. 3. Remember nothing is permanent- happiness comes and goes and so does sadness. Both are important - embrace them and don’t put meaning into either. When we place meaning on a perception, we are trying to label it- control it, make it fit into a box. We can’t control everything and when we try, we create stressful events. Learn to accept things for what they are - events. 4. Create pleasant memories (that’s where the journal comes in handy). The more pleasant moments you jot down (read every once and a while)- the more your brain will seek out more pleasant moments. Happy memories lift you up- make you feel more satisfied. 5. Express gratitude for what you have. This will also encourage your brain to focus on the positive. 6. Be mindful of the world around you- focus on the beauty - if you look you will find it. 7. Create a positive mantra- this can help you when you find yourself slipping. 8. Learn to manage your time - rushing and pushing yourself will leave you feeling empty. When this happens we feel stressed and tend to perceive our lives as hectic and harried. 9. Be present!Acknowledge the here and now. Enjoy it for what it is. 10. Develop a routine that you enjoy- this will ground you and start your day with purpose. 11. Remember, you’re worth it See more

#40 Happiness and acknowledging our flaws It’s been said that we are our harshest critics - our own worst enemies. No one does a better job judging us then we do. We fixate on a flaw, examine it from all angles, roll it over in our minds, label ourselves because of it, and let it impact our sense of self. Many times focusing on a flaws leads us into a downward spiral of self loathing and pity. When we live this way happiness alludes is. There is a way to look at you...r flaws and find happiness. First, you have to engage in some personal reflection. Look at the flaw and acknowledge it and it’s impact in your life. Is it holding you back from doing something you want to do? Is it stopping you from being who you want to be? Second, determine if it is something you can work on (i.e. social anxiety, bad teeth, anger ). If so, what steps do you need to take to remedy the problem? If it’s a flaw you can’t change (ie. freckles) you need to accept it as part of you and learn to work with it- not against it. Third, reword the flaw and develop a mantra to help you turn it around (I can’t run because I am out of shape becomes I run because I am strong). This will help you come to peace with it. Fourth, for the flaws that are workable, acknowledge that you are in charge and only when you are ready can the flaws be worked on. Fifth, remember that happiness comes when we accept who we and stop judging ourselves or others. See more