Jamie Lugo : Practice Meditate Inspire

Gentle reminder : when we avoid, shut down, push back, defend, fight against, smooth over, change the subject - we miss a chance to expand. The word Shenpa explains the hook or trigger that pulls us back into our old patterns. The hook is the urge to escape or shut down when we could otherwise remain open to our experience. When we choose a new response we choose a new way of being. This however does not mean we need to put ourselves in danger or continually allow ourselv...es to endure emotional, mental or physical harm by going places we aren’t ready to go AND if we are sick of the same shit, ready to get out of old patterns then we must look in the rooms of our house that we keep the doors shut. Out habitual tendencies aren’t bad or wrong, they brought us here and they worked for us at some point. We can be grateful for them. But the question we can ask is whether or not our pattern keep us connected, safe, and in our dignity? And if we shifted the way we met our hooks, could we honor all 3 of those qualities and expand into our full humanity? Sending love, growth and expansion your way this holiday season and always. I love you.

Going through old notebooks and this fell out. It’s a list of values from my 2018 workshop Resourceful and Whole. (Remember this @jamiesg?) In almost everyone of my workshops, coaching relationships, and courses we do a values mining exercise. Either through a storytelling of our peak experience, through identifying the things that piss us off, or naming our heroes. All of these things can tell you what is that you care about. Values are the ground you stand on. The fo...undation of you. How often do you revisit, revise and reconnect with your foundation? The things that matter the most. We often feel like when the rug gets pulled out from underneath us, we loose our ground. But it’s the very thing that gets us closer to it. To what really matters, what is truly important. Sometimes it feels like our lives are in direct conflict with our values. That because I haven’t been able to travel I can’t honor my value of adventure. That because I am in isolation, I can’t honor my value of connection. But honoring our values IS possible in any context. You don’t have to have a partner to honor your value of love. You don’t have to be outside to honor your value of nature. You can have a packed schedule and honor your value of spontaneity. Sometimes we get wrapped up in other peoples values. We start caring about what other people care about and forgetting what matters to us. Right now, I am reflecting on 2020 and revisiting the ground I stand on. Reminding myself that my values are non-negotiable. Realizing that the we got to lose the rug to feel the ground.

You be Jupiter and I’ll be Saturn. #moosetherescuechi #oldmanbaby #mywholeheart

The mistake we make is holding onto the belief that we can only show up for ourselves under certain circumstances , when we feel ready or when the conditions are right. Once I clean the house, then I can sit down to meditate. When I do everything for everyone else first then I can check in with how I’m feeling. When I get _____, then I’ll be able to _____. Once I get _____ THEN I will be happy. I can only show up once I have done x, y & z. When we honor this story line we... strengthen the idea that there are terms and conditions to our ability to be there for ourselves. That we are only worthy of our own love and attention once we’ve been productive enough and everything else is out of the way. That certain circumstances or other people get determine how and when we show up. The truth is, if we can’t show up for ourselves on our shit days, with an overdrawn back account, someone mad at us, with the house a mess, kids screaming and crying and an inbox of unanswered emails... we’ll never be able to train in being there for ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY. You don’t have to be put together or have it all together to be present. There are no prerequisites to being you. There are no conditions to YOU. We put so many damn conditions on showing up for ourselves that no wonder it almost barely ever happens. PSA : The are no perfect conditions to being you. There is not a place or destination to get to. The time may never be right, you may not be fully ready. What would happen if you showed up anyway?

Sometimes we forget that other people aren’t responsible for our healing. While it’s important to hold other people accountable when they cause harm, it is ultimately our responsibility to tend to our wounds. Responsibility is our ability to respond. Self-responsibility is not only having the ability to respond, decide and choose, but further to become an active participant in our lives. Many times we feel that the situation or person needs our response but in reality its ...our own pain and wound that’s need the response To be tended to and held. Self-responsibility gives us a sense of agency : I GET TO DECIDE HOW I FEEL and HEAL. Agency begins with knowing how you feel and then responding to the need of that feeling. How can you tend to that need? If we ask others to tend to our needs, we give that person ownership of some part of us. Don’t get me wrong, self-responsibility could also look like asking for help, offering an apology, asking for an apology, saying what you need to say, needing closure but ultimately its doing any and all of the above without abandoning yourself. The word healing means make whole, sound and well. If we make others responsible for our healing then they get to own a part of our wholeness.