Kerilyn E. Micale Attorney at Law

In compliance with Governor Cuomo’s new directive, our office will be closed until further notice. As you may be aware, most court matters have been suspended for the time being. If you have any questions or concerns about an ongoing matter, please do not hesitate to message us here or to send an email to: [email protected]. Although we will be attempting to monitor our voicemail remotely, we will not be answering phone calls in real time. Please stay safe and healthy!

Lawyer: [whispers] "I did the murder." [loudly] "Read that back?" Stenographer: "I did the murder." Lawyer: "OMG the stenographer just confessed!"

Q: "What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?" A: "Accountants know they're boring."

"We lawyers are always curious, always inquisitive, always picking up odds and ends for our patchwork minds." ~Charles Dickens

"The startling thing is that lawyers don't seem to like to laugh at themselves, or even get mildly amused about their profession." ~Ann Sleeper

From Actual Court Records: Judge: "Young man, do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie?" Witness: "Yes, sir. I would go to hell."... Judge: "Is that all?" Witness: "Isn't that enough?"

"To be completely unprejudiced, a lawyer must be completely ignorant, completely indifferent,or completely dead." ~Anonymous

"It is almost impossible to become a lawyer and not acquire a passion for justice." ~David Guenther

From Actual Court Records: DA: "This matter is here for trial today." Judge: "Are the people ready?"... DA: "Yes, Your Honor, but we move to dismiss in the interest of justice." Judge: "What is the interest of justice?" DA: "The case sucks."

Some of these are very near and dear to our heart as they are VALAC dogs (https://www.facebook.com/VALACSyracuse/ )

Q: "What do you call a really nice lawyer in America?" A: "A tourist."

Don't fall for this guy!

"There is a story of an applicant for admission to a famous graduate school who, when asked by the Dean of Admissions whether he had graduated in the upper half of his college class, replied with great pride: 'Sir, I belong to that section of the class which makes the upper half of the class possible.'" ~Julius Cohen

"An associate was called into a partner's office to discuss his latest case. When he returned to his desk, the now fuming lawyer turned to a co-worker and asked, 'How did she get to be partner? She doesn't even know the difference between a fiasco and a debacle!'"

The only acceptable jail break!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them." ~John F. Kennedy

Law on T.V.: Hector: "You're a bit judgey." Josh: "You're a lot judgey. You're like Judge Reinhold."... Other Josh: "He's not a judge." ~My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

We can confirm that making ghosts is indeed illegal so don't do it, but DO have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

From Actual Court Records: Accused, Representing Himself: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

From Actual Court Records: Prosecutor: "Isn't it a fact that you have been running around with another woman?" Defendant: "Yes, it is, but you can't prove it."

VALAC German Shepherds Meeshka and Roxie (now Josie) have started their heartworm treatment! They are being fostered through Recycle-A-Bull Bully Breed Rescue I...nc. and are getting the best care on their pathway to wellness. VALAC is sponsoring their treatment; please donate if you are able! Meeshka (pictured here) thanks you!!! https://www.gofundme.com/f/VALACshepherds

"Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, shortsighted, and always ready to charge." ~David Mellor

From Actual Court Records: Attorney: "Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?" Witness: "We both do."... Attorney: "Voodoo?" Witness: "We do." Attorney: "You do?" Witness: "Yes. Voodoo."

"It is at the moment when experience tuns to instinct that a good trial lawyer or cross-examiner is developed." ~Robert Goldman

"Who lied to me about this case, And said we'd have an easy race, And did it all with solemn face? My client."... ~Anonymous

"A well-timed scowl from a trial judge can go a long way in moving things along crisply." ~John Roberts

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." ~Harry Truman

"Write an opinion, and read it a few years later when it is dissected in the briefs of counsel. You will learn for the first time the limitations of the power of speech." ~Benjamin Cardozo

Please donate if you can and please share this post so it reaches as many people as possible! Thank you!

"A man won an $80,000.00 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the 'It's a Small World' ride. He said he'll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won't stop playing, 'It's a Small World after All." ~Conan O'Brien

"Every legal case that ever happened is essentially a story, the story of aroused, pulsing, actual people fighting each other or the state for something: for money, for property, for power, pride, honor, love, freedom, even for life - and quite often, one suspects, for the pure unholy joy of fighting." ~Robert Traver, The Jealous Mistress

"Always be spontaneous, but study hard so that your spontaneous opinions are wise." ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

From Actual Court Records: Lawyer: "Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? Witness: "A fifth of wine?"... Lawyer: "No, the Fifth Amendment."

From Actual Court Records: "Indeed, by the end of the trial, if Singh were to have testified that the world was round, I immediately would have sought membership in the Flat Earth Society." ~footnote, Pirbhai v. Singh, et al. 2010

From Actual Court Records: "An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen on the Court's lap." ~35 Bar and Grille v. San Antonio, 2013

Q: "Has your brother finally managed to pass the bar?" A: "He tries and tries, but he can't." Q: "Whats the problem?"... A: "They just keep having happy hours."

"No lawyer will ever go to Heaven as long as there is room for more in Hell." ~French Proverb

Law in the Movies: Nurse: "What are you going to do, keep asking the question in different ways to get the answer you want?" Beacham: "I guess. It's what I do."... Nurse: "Maybe we should all go to law school." ~Fracture

From Actual Court Records: "In view of the foregoing Opinion, at this time We enter the following Order, also in rhyme, Finding that service of process is bona fide,... The motion to dismiss is hereby denied. So that this case can now get about its ways, Defendant shall file an answer within 21 days." ~Mackenworth v. American Trading Transportation Co., 1973

"He that loves law will get his fill of it." ~Scottish Proverb

Client: "I broke my mirror this morning. Guess I'll be getting seven years of bad luck." Lawyer: "Don't worry. I can get you three."

"It was that which gave promise that in due time the weights should be lifted from the shoulders of all men, and that all should have an equal chance. This is the sentiment embodied in that Deceleration of Independence." ~Abraham Lincoln

"God save us from a lawyer's et cetera." ~French Proverb

From Actual Court Records: Defense Attorney: "Then I object tot he District Attorney objecting to my objecting to standard legal objections."

Don't forget to vote in the primaries today!

Question: "What do Canadian law students get on their exams?" Answer: "Eh's."

Law on TV: Judge: "Driving without a license, driving without insurance, not wearing a seatbelt, having no tax disk displayed, driving over the legal speed limit, driving under the influence of alcohol, allowing another person to drive your vehicle under the influence of alcohol, in the region of $5,000 parking fees owing, $6,000 of damaged property, charges of assault and abuse, the charges of attempted murder and robbery have been dropped, shoplifting - the sum of $50,000 t...o be paid by you in damages and a further fine of $2,000. You will also be liable for all costs incurred." Edwina Monsoon: "Can I just say a word in my defense? I, the proposed accused, think that, well, I mean, you know, the day in question was not a good day for me, all right?" ~Absolutely Fabulous

"More cross-examinations are suicidal than homicidal." ~Emory Buckner

"If half the lawyers would become plumbers, two of man's biggest problems would be solved." ~Felton Davis, Jr.