Melissa Raab, LMFT

Healthy reminders for a stressful time in our world. Thank you Blessing Manifesting!

With Onondaga county having been in Phase 4 for some time, I have received many questions regarding the return to in-person therapy sessions. I have set up an anonymous survey to help as I set up a return-to-office strategy in the coming weeks. The survey can be found here: https://forms.gle/rphc4ph8FqCu2Ri9A *Please do NOT include any personal information in this survey.... I appreciate your help to ensure therapy remains both effective and safe during this time.

I am excited to share that I am now a credentialed provider with Talkspace! COVID-19 certainly changed the way therapy is currently being delivered - since March I have seen clients solely through electronic devices. Now I am able to expand my reach to the entirety of New York State regardless of location thanks to Talkspace. While I am still seeing clients at The Family Cenrer primarily, I am excited for the opportunity to broaden my scope of clientele and help people through a modality that is most accessible right now. https://app.talkspace.com/signup/MelissaRaab

Fantastic resource! Thank you Headspace!

New update on the status of therapy: At this point, to protect everyone's health, I will indefinitely be running appointments by phone and video only. For potential clients, I AM still accepting referrals with the caveat that we will have to begin sessions via teletherapy then transition to in person sessions when possible. ... For current clients, I am still planning on keeping regular appointments as much as possible (for example, if we meet weekly- we will still "meet" weekly). Besides the format of sessions, the other major change will be to my schedule. As I am staying home with my two young children (my husband is an essential employee), I am going to have to shift the vast majority of my appointments to late evening (6pm or later) or weekend appointments. If you have to make payments for your sessions we will discuss how to do this remotely once details of this are hammered out. I so appreciate your understanding and your flexibility, this is absolutely a major shift for all of us and your patience as I get established in this temporary new normal is something I do not take for granted. If you have any questions or concerns I am here to help, please don't hesitate to ask. Thank you, again!

There is no escaping the fact that we are all under an enormous amount of stress right now. Some of us are trying to juggle homeschooling for the first time and working from home. Some of us are struggling with job loss for an indefinite amount of time and fear surrounding finances in an uncertain time. Some of us are really struggling to be home for a plethora of reasons. Some of us are worried about the health of not just the community, but ourselves and loved ones. To say... we are living in an unprecedented trying time would be an understatement. Now more than ever I hope we are all prioritizing self care into our days. Building in small pieces of comfort and care won't make the stress disappear, but it helps ease our loads a little bit, or at the very least- gives us something to look forward to. So often when I mention self care to my clients it is immediately equated with going out and/or spending money- and it simply does not have to be. Here are some ideas of how to make sure you are taking time to take care of you, even while maintaining social distance and financial frugality: 1) Make your showers a few moments longer. 2) Go for a walk - whether it's down your street or a full blown hike. 3) Make a playlist on Spotify of your favorite music, past or present, to play in the background of daily activities 4) Organize a room, a closet, or a drawer that you've been putting off. 5) Find a new television series to watch 6) Check out an e-book or audiobook from your local library's digital catalog. 7) Write lists- of funny things your kids have said, of things you are grateful for, of the highlights of your day. 8) Take a 24 hour break from social media. 9) Color 10) Find a progressive muscle relaxation video on YouTube to follow along with. These are just a few ideas to start but there are so many more things you can do. Take care of yourselves, friends; your wellbeing is vital right now.

We are living in very uncertain times, and as a whole we as humans do very poorly when so much is unknown. It causes a lot of anxiety, especially when so much seems out of our control. I think now is a perfect time to direct our focus. In life there are three primary circles- control, influence, and concern. The circle of control is the first circle that I hope we can all focus on during this time. What fills this circle is things we have the most ability to change. What kin...d of music will you listen to today? How much social media will you consume today? What can you cross off your to do list? These are all things within our control. The circle of influence is another important circle we can focus on right now. Though we don't have complete power here, we are able to do things to help influence an outcome. Social distancing in and of itself is in the circle of influence- you can make certain changes to help reduce the chances of getting sick or someone else getting sick. You can prepare healthy meals and get enough sleep to help influence positive impacts on your physical and mental health. You may not be able to make a direct change, but you have power to be proactive and influence a change. The circle of concern is where I think we are all stuck in right now, myself included. There are things that we simply cannot change and cannot influence. Over the last 24 hours we have moved from not just being concerned about health of ourselves, family, and friends, many folks are now concerned about a loss of income, what the stock market looks like, and other financial matters. If there is no control or influence you have over these things, I challenge you to redirect your focus to the other two circles. When things feel most overwhelming, I encourage everyone to start in the center circle. Focusing on what you have the most control over right now will help ease your anxiety through an uneasy time. Take care of yourselves, my friends, both physically and mentally. And tell me- what is the one thing you can control that you will focus on today?

To all of my clients- At this time, precautions are being taken as frequently as possible to sanitize all areas of The Family Center, and the office itself is not closing. I will have hand sanitizer readily available outside of my office door and if you feel uncomfortable waiting in the large shared waiting room, you are always welcome to come back and sit in the chairs outside of my office. Because the totality of your health is most important to me, I am going to begin reg...ularly offering remote sessions via phone or a HIPAA compliant video platform. I want to leave the option of how you proceed with therapy up to you- at this point, I will still be at the office every day. If you are sick or have been in contact with someone who is sick, please either cancel or contact me to move your appointment to a teletherapy platform. You will not be charged any fees for late cancellations during thia time. If you would like more information on teletherapy or would like to move your appointments to a phone or video platform, please let me know as soon as you can so that may be established. Thank you for your time, patience, and understanding as we move forward during this time of social distancing. See more

Thank you, NAMI New York State for this! Coronavirus has come up in virtually every session I have run lately, and the anxiety can become overwhelming. These are great tips to help protect your mental health during this time, which is just as important as your physical health.

Love this quote. It is SO true! The courage it takes to feel, be vulnerable, and have a soft heart consistently amazes me in the work I do.

Have you ever tried holding an inflated beach ball underwater? It's a game I recall playing as a kid in the pool, testing friends to see how long they could keep the ball down. It's been awhile since I've done it, but if memory serves it was not an easy task. Eventually it became too difficult and the ball would shoot up out of the water with enormous force. I see clients all the time who are holding their metaphorical beach balls underwater, for any number of reasons, one o...f the most common being that allowing the feelings to come to the surface is too overwhelming and too painful. For sure, the longer we press anything down, the more powerful the force becomes. Sometimes we let the ball slip from our grip and find ourselves having "a short fuse" or "overreacting" when the reality is that there is so much below the surface that needs to be nurtured. I am always so amazed by clients who come to therapy still holding their beach balls down- it screams courage to me. The concept of therapy can be very scary when the force of repressed emotions is so strong. But it's the often the first of many courageous steps on the journey of of coping with the old feelings and learning how to create a healthy space for new ones.

So many times clients come to see me when they are in the throes of grief, without actually knowing they are working through the grief cycle. The word "grief" has become so intertwined with death that often clients are surprised when we come to the realization that's what they're coming to therapy for. This article does such a good job of giving a snapshot of all the different kinds of non-death related grief.