Barb Shepard, LMHC

Great article! "Autonomy helps children learn how to deal with challenges on their own. By denying children independence, parents deny them the ability to develop the flexibility to learn from their mistakes. In fact, cognitive flexibility is one of the best predictors of academic achievement. And despite the good intentions of most over-involved parents, children of helicopter parents don’t necessarily perform well in school. In fact, helicopter parenting is associated with lower academic performance in children, more extrinsic or reward-based motivation, and avoidance goals for learning. In other words, these children don’t develop the motivation to master new skillsthey mostly just work hard to get a good grade." https://www.psychologytoday.com//why-helicopter-parenting-

One of the oldest and most generous tricks that the universe plays on human beings is to bury strange jewels within us all, and to stand back and see if we can ever find them" {Elizabeth Gilbert} Hi! I’m Barb. For those of you who are new here, I figured I’d share a bit about me! I’ve been a therapist for six years and have worked as a helper for the past ten. I also owned my own private practice for a few years now, and I absolutely LOVE what I do.... I specialize in working with teens, twenties, and thirty-somethings with anxiety, panic attacks, and chronic stress. These decades are packed with transitions, change, and the what do I want to do with my life?? question looming in the background. I work with young people who want to feel more CALM and CONFIDENT. They want to stop letting fear tell them lies about what they can and can’t do. They want to find who they are and learn to share that gift with the world. I love working with young people with anxiety because I was a young person with anxiety. I know firsthand how much it SUCKS. I also know for a fact that it is entirely possible to feel better and live a courageous life without fears running the show. My job is to help you learn skills and strategies to manage anxiety. That’s a given as an anxiety therapist. But perhaps even more importantly, my job is also to help you discover the magic in you - the jewels the universe has buried within you, as Elizabeth Gilbert says. The things that make you unique that literally no one else could replicate, even if they tried. To provide you with a supportive space where you can be percent you with zero F’s given. That’s when the real magic happens + things start to transform... Photo: Becca Howland Photography #syracuse #cny #su #cuse #lemoyne #newyork #therapistsofinstagram #therapy #therapists #therapistlife #anxiety #anxietyrelief #anxietyawareness #anxietysupport #counseling #teletherapy #monday #mondaymood

Great article! "Autonomy helps children learn how to deal with challenges on their own. By denying children independence, parents deny them the ability to develop the flexibility to learn from their mistakes. In fact, cognitive flexibility is one of the best predictors of academic achievement. And despite the good intentions of most over-involved parents, children of helicopter parents don’t necessarily perform well in school. In fact, helicopter parenting is associated with lower academic performance in children, more extrinsic or reward-based motivation, and avoidance goals for learning. In other words, these children don’t develop the motivation to master new skillsthey mostly just work hard to get a good grade." https://www.psychologytoday.com//why-helicopter-parenting-

The great epochs of our lives are at the points when we gain courage to rebaptize our badness as the best in us. . . . Many people come to therapy with a set of symptoms. There is a problem that is painful + making life hard. As we start to dive into what’s going on today + how to make it better, we often end up taking a journey back in time to discover when the seeds for present day problems were planted.... . . . Symptoms that bring adults to my office vary, but are often the result of an emotional injury that happened along the way in the formative years of growing up. This injury can be the result of someone else’s actions perhaps being told you weren’t good enough, not feeling being protected by caretakers, being bullied, or any other forms of chaos in places that were supposed to be safe + nurturing. . . . However, people internalize these experiences as my fault + the shame associated with this gets buried deep down into the shadows of our psyche. Shadow can present in a lot of different forms: anger, relationship issues, narcissism, drinking too much, overspending, overcommitting, diffuse boundaries, etc.. . . . The journey in therapy becomes this: rather than trying to extricate the badness or the shadow, we invite the shadow in with compassion, forgiveness, + openness. We sit with it, listen to what it has to say, + begin to integrate these exiled parts of ourselves back into our whole. We accept that all people have light + shadow within them and that this is part of the human condition. . . . This is how we rebaptize our badness. When we recognize that every single human being on this earth (even the perfect one over there who looks like they’ve got their shit together) has some shadow work to do. And when we realize the badness could be what makes us most BADASS. . . . When we accept that our shadow is a universal experience of being human rather than a measure of personal inadequacy healing + integration begins. . . . When we fall down + rise up again, the strength that is built in those moments is unparalleled ... and having the courage to do that work is forever YOURS. No one can ever take that away from you. #syracuse #syracuseny #cny #upstateny #upstate #nys #newyork #mentalhealth #healing #therapy #teletherapy #telehealth #counseling #anxietyrelief #anxiety See more

L E T Y O U R B R E A T H B E Y O U R A N C H O R One of the absolute best coping skills for anxiety, stress + panic attacks is learning to use your breath as your anchor. When we get stressed, cortisol goes + a few things happen in our body... our breath becomes shallow and rapid... blood rushes to the extremities as we prepare for flight or flight (can lead to dizziness + tingling in the hands) our pupils dilate we start to sweat The stress response is the same regardless of the circumstance (whether we are in physical danger + need to act to protect our body, or if we are in a really stressful meeting). While the intensity may vary, the same biological processes take place. This can lead excess stress hormones to pump through the body in times when we don’t truly need them + there’s no outlet for that extra energy. This excess stress energy gets stored in the body over time + physically manifests in the form of headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, sore neck/shoulders, a weakened immune system, + even seemingly random panic attacks. A great strategy to help reduce the over-activity of the stress response is ANCHORING through your breath. Here’s some steps to guide you: . Check-in with yourself each hour (you might even set some alarms in your phone) + ask yourself: am I unnecessarily tensing anywhere in my body? Is my jaw clenched? How am I feeling right now? Notice where the feeling is showing up in your body (often with anxiety it is experienced in the chest or stomach) Spend a few moments taking some long + slow inhales and exhales into those place in the body. Incorporate a visualization (inhaling cleansing light, exhaling toxic energy) Let me know what else works for you with using your breath to cope with stress!

L E T Y O U R B R E A T H B E Y O U R A N C H O R One of the absolute best coping skills for anxiety, stress + panic attacks is learning to use your breath as your anchor. When we get stressed, cortisol goes + a few things happen in our body... our breath becomes shallow and rapid... blood rushes to the extremities as we prepare for flight or flight (can lead to dizziness + tingling in the hands) our pupils dilate we start to sweat The stress response is the same regardless of the circumstance (whether we are in physical danger + need to act to protect our body, or if we are in a really stressful meeting). While the intensity may vary, the same biological processes take place. This can lead excess stress hormones to pump through the body in times when we don’t truly need them + there’s no outlet for that extra energy. This excess stress energy gets stored in the body over time + physically manifests in the form of headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, sore neck/shoulders, a weakened immune system, + even seemingly random panic attacks. A great strategy to help reduce the over-activity of the stress response is ANCHORING through your breath. Here’s some steps to guide you: . Check-in with yourself each hour (you might even set some alarms in your phone) + ask yourself: am I unnecessarily tensing anywhere in my body? Is my jaw clenched? How am I feeling right now? Notice where the feeling is showing up in your body (often with anxiety it is experienced in the chest or stomach) Spend a few moments taking some long + slow inhales and exhales into those place in the body. Incorporate a visualization (inhaling cleansing light, exhaling toxic energy) Let me know what else works for you with using your breath to cope with stress!

The power of community coming together to support their students in hard times! <3 Love this bunch! https://youtu.be/ZKD9QmO63KI

Heartbreaking for these seniors, but amazing to read about this community coming together for their students. News like this gives me hope and is a great reminder of the good Educators visit all of district’s graduating seniors: ‘I had 52 teachers in my front yard. That’s amazing’ (video) https://www.syracuse.com//educators-visit-all-of-districts #syracuse #syracuseny #cny #seniors #therapy #mentalhealth

Johann Hari talks about the importance of "we" rather than "I" in rethinking how we approach depression and anxiety. Very interesting! "The solution to these problems does not lie in drawing more and more on your resources as an isolated individual -- that's partly what got us in this crisis. It lies on reconnecting with something bigger than you." https://www.ted.com//johann_hari_this_could_be_why_you_re_

Today I’m talking about my oops moment about falling into the stability trap. Watch to learn more about how a mindfulness practice can help us be in flow with the natural ups and downs of life, rather than trying to control outcomes and causing ourselves more stress and fear - without even realizing it.

Check out my convo with @youcanexhalenow podcast about treatment for anxiety! We talked about a little bit of everything: normal stress vs. anxiety ... recognizing anxiety in children psychological + physical treatment of anxiety holistic practices/alternative medicine preventing burnout + boundaries at work self-care, mindfulness, + morning rituals Note: We talked a bit about the origins of anxiety, which can include genes, learned behavior, and life events. Kids can pick up anxious mindset and habits from adults they look up to (no blame here - this happens even in the most loving, amazing families - kids are just sponges!!) I talk about how parents can empower their children to grow resiliently by taking care of their own mental health. Just want to clarify that the parent modeling aspect of anxiety does NOT cause OCD - there is a lot of misinformation out there about OCD. OCD is biological disorder of the brain and you cannot pick it up from stress or learned behavior. Stressful events can bring out different elements of OCD and symptoms can wax and wane over time, but do not cause OCD to occur. Other anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder or panic disorder, are a bit different - there a often a biological component, but these diagnoses have more potential to be directly influenced by nurture or life events and there is a complex interplay of causes. Questions? Let me know! Hope you enjoy #syracuse #syracuseny #cny #therapy #selfcare #wellness #anxiety #counseling #health

If you're feeling Zoom'd out, you're not alone. For most of us, our lives have moved completely online. While there are certainly benefits to this, like remaining connected and being able to work remotely, telemeeting fatigue is real. I can't even count how many people have said to me this week, "I'm more tired than I've ever been - how is this possible when I sit in one spot all day?!" Being aware of what's happening here can be helpful because you can start to experiment wi...th some small adjustments that can help you feel a lot better. It can also be validating to know this isn't in your head! 1. Space out your meeting times so that you can take a break and walk, stretch, or even squeeze in a 15 minute power nap in-between calls. Taking breaks has been supremely helpful. I have personally found that the magic number between meetings is 30 minutes - just enough time to tie up loose ends and do something to relax and recharge for a few minutes. 2. Invest in some blue light glasses. Amazon has cheapo pairs that are really cute for $20. I went for the leopard ones and I've been told by my husband that I'm looking "trendy." I'll take it. 3. Take inventory of when you have the most energy. If your job offers flexibility with your hours, don't feel like you "have" to do 9-5 because that's "just what we do." Play around with a workday schedule that maximizes your energy. If you're a morning person, try to schedule your most arduous tasks or meetings that require more mental sharpness for the morning. If you do better with a few extra hours of zzz's, push off these tasks to the afternoon. 4. Avoid overcaffinating. It can be tempting to return endlessly to the coffee pot, but this can leave you feeling "tired and wired" (seriously the worst feeling). It can also make sleep more challenging. Switch to hydrating with just plain old H2O or herbal tea. Being dehydrated can increase fatigue. 5. Plan an end of day activity to symbolize the end of your workday and screen time, like going for a walk. Leave your computer and phone on the charger upstairs while you settle into your evening with your family. I do yoga at the end of the day, and I find this to be the best way to release the day and refill my cup. This helps me wind down for the evening, sleep well, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the next day <3 https://www.psychologytoday.com//why-virtual-communication #syracuse #syracuseny #cny #therapy #mentalhealth #counseling #selfcare #wellnesstips

Just a good laugh.